This blog is about the spiritual journey

Remembering Chris

Today marks the 13th anniversary of my son’s passing.  He died while rock climbing in Yosemite National Park when he was twenty-five.

I remember the year leading up to Chris’s death. Beneath all consciousness, the mystery appeared to prevail. He had visited relatives across the country and had collected his belongings from others. The weekend before leaving for Yosemite, he visited with old friends at the martial arts school that had helped him grow up. Those who saw Chris that year recall his joy, peace, and love.

Looking back, it’s as though, even as Chris lived with all his heart, the Earth couldn’t hold him.  He was two when, on the eve of the birth of my daughter, he discovered stars. It seemed in that moment that a light went on inside him, which throughout life grew ever brighter.  As I wrote in the book Freedom To FallI thought that Chris, if given the chance, would not go back and do anything differently. From the earliest age, he was always breaking out into new territory, new heights, new vistas—new realms of freedom.  You could cherish Chris, but you couldn’t contain him….  

I take comfort in knowing that Chris is where he is supposed to be.  I know not what he is up to, how he serves God.  Only that the love we had is the love we have and the love we will always have. The saving grace in loss is the soul’s endurance.

Chris was a shining example to many whose paths he crossed.  May this day be a reminder that he is with us still, even as his journey (and ours) continue on.


Communicate with Carol or order a book via her website,


10 responses

  1. I can’t imagine that kind of loss. Through reading your book, I felt Chris’ spirit. I will read it again soon.

    June 1, 2016 at 3:32 am

    • Thanks for your words, Janet. I’m glad Chris’s spirit has stayed with you! The way you relate to Yosemite is kindred to the way Chris did. It was his favorite place on earth.

      June 1, 2016 at 12:44 pm

  2. Marie O'Shea

    Hi Carol, Gordon and I are thinking what a wonderful friend you are and send you lot’s of love today on this very special day.

    Love you


    June 1, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    • Wonderful to hear from you Marie! Thanks for your thoughts! Love, Carol

      June 1, 2016 at 6:58 pm

  3. diana richards

    Thank you, Carol. It is good to be reminded that he is with us still.

    July 19, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    • Thanks Diane. I hope you can feel that too.

      July 20, 2016 at 1:00 pm

      • diana richards

        Carol, Jambo and I were walking in the woods. I stopped to examine a new native plant in bloom. As I looked closely at the flower I was amazed to see its intricate beauty and a wave of sadness passed through me as Chris appeared in my mind. The date? June 1. The meaning? maybe missing the close up intricate beauty of Chris on Earth.

        July 20, 2016 at 6:00 pm

  4. diana richards

    i would add “sensing” to the last line–maybe sensing & missing…

    July 20, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    • Diane, what a beautiful sensing of Chris! It’s as though his spirit merged with the spirit of the flower. Surely, he was right there with you on the walk.

      July 20, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      • diana richards


        July 20, 2016 at 9:00 pm

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